Laws of the Midge

 @WillCopestake: #50RulesOfCamping

Rules that govern our tiny mosquito like fly. so annoying even the army uses ‘skin-so-soft’ perfume to repel them.

Known in the US & Canada as ‘No-See-ums’ and in Gaelic as “Feckin’ Blighters” 

No matter how small the hole the midge will find it.

Midges on Scotland’s west coast carry baseball bats, a bottle of high commissioner and a bad attitude.

 There are two stages of a midge attack. – The first you think you are going to die. The second you wish you would.

Kill one midge and a thousand turn up for its funeral.

If the midge bite itches you will scratch until blood is drawn…and then a little more.

Running around in circles to escape the swarms eventually became organised and were named ‘Ceilidhs’

The humble midge cannot tolerate direct sunshine; unfortunately the last recorded sunny day was in 1801.

Only female midges bite – Male midges swear they will get round to it tomorrow.

Midges were introduced to Scotland as an answer to an epidemic of skinny dipping 

Whisky is the only known albeit temporary cure for the midge. ‘The Whiskey midge-net’ is thought to be a close relative of ‘the beer jacket’ and is a leading cause of the ‘itchy hangover’.